Prepping my team at Churm Media for the big switch from Quark 8 to InDesign CS5 (Hallelujah!), I assigned the project for everyone to design a magazine cover using exclusively InDesign and supporting Adobe products, for photo retouching/manipulation. They were given free reign, with the one caveat being that it had to look like a magazine cover, not an art piece. Being a team player I to took part in this exercise. Drawing inspiration from, quite possibly, the best news site on the internet, I set my goals at creating a cover for slashdot. Their tagline says it all, “News for nerds. News that matters.”. Being a long time follower of the site, and getting 90% of my conversation topics their as well, I knew that I wanted a cover subject that would ‘fit’. John Stewart immediately jumped to mind and my search of google images began. Maybe not the obvious choice for a “nerd news” magazine, but the guy has brains and wit to match … I knew the fit would work. Once I had the idea, the rest was a breeze.

Make your own slogan at the Bus Slogan Generator. Photo credit: Jon Worth c/o atheistbus.org.uk

Or see mine, after this tiny little, insignificant…. jump!

Ok, i may be paraphrasing a bit there, but i think you get the point. By utilizing a person’s sense of self worth when they create something by hand and the keen graphic design templates that produce MANY characters imaginable, cubeecraft.com was born. Being a child of the 80′s i WAS awfully tempted to have a little paper craft Pee-Wee Herman w/ Chairy, but then decided to settle on the infamous Stay Puft Marshmallow man (thank you ghostbusters!). X-acto in hand i began the semi-tedious process of cutting across the lines. Taking a minute to feel like i was back in crafts school, i carried on. 7-10 short minutes later the payoff was at hand, excuse the pun. Mini Stay Puff will now guard my cubicle from would-be assassins… errr well, not really… *mumbles* just don’t cross the streams…

Now, head on over to cubeecraft.com (Don’t forget the extra ‘e’ or you, like me, will end up in an internet black hole of asian characters) and cut yourself a little desk mate. Post a comment with a photo of yourself and the little fella, i’d love to see ‘em.

Here’s the movie… Enjoy!

Now… go make your own and share me the link in the comment section. I’d love to get some feedback and see what the ‘blogosphere’ is creating!

…… after the jump. (you should know by now. ;) )

Video of this little maniacal munchikin after the jump! Thanks Afrojacks!

Justin over at Big Head Design suggested a site to me. Knowing his judgment is usually a stones throw away from funny, I bring you the Typography Conference from College humor!

• You smile that spanking-kind-of-smile when you use the CSS property: padding-bottom.
• You know exactly what I’m referring to when I say “Make my logo bigger”.
• Every now and then you go through a ‘herbal tea’ phase to try and reduce your dependence to coffee, but you always go back to the inky demon eventually.
• You’ve caught yourself more than once hitting CTRL or CMD+N when you need a coffee refill…
• Sleep and nighttime are no longer irrevocably linked.
• You have woken up in the middle of the night your sleep and started recreating the dream you just had in Photoshop.
• When getting up, you wish you had a healing brush/patch tool for those unsightly blemishes and undereye luggage.
• Your keyboard could definitely be someone’s grocery list – you’re eating there constantly.
• You know several Photoshop shortcuts that require 4 fingers (Shift+Ctrl+Alt+K anyone?).
• Whenever you see fog on a forested hillside, you think, nature is making a gaussian blur.
• You’re sitting in the movie theater watching the movie titles, shaking your head at how badly they’re kerned.
• Your biggest fear is Papyrus becoming the new Comic Sans.
• If you could go back in time you wouldn’t go back to see the rise and fall of civilizations, you’d go back in time to destroy Comic Sans and Papyrus.
• Your most romantic date was when you went to see Helvetica by Gary Hustwit.
• You’ve considered naming your children things like ‘Kern’, ‘Pica’, ‘Bézier’, ‘Nyala’, and ‘Serif’.
• You are trying catch the post-it notes at your monitor with your cursor.
• You know that, by default, if three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen – or any combination of worst components of each.
• You also know that if you ask for more copy it will be sent as a Jpeg; If you ask for images they will be sent as PowerPoint presentations; if you ask for a vector logo, it’ll come in the form of a Gif – from their website.
• You have an uncanny ability to automatically see when something is lined up properly without the need for tools or devices, for instance if a shelf is straight, and where the center of the wall is to hang a picture.
• And as a direct cause, get an almost uncontrollable urge to adjust a painting that’s tilted ever so slightly.
• And when in doubt, you automatically think CTRL or CMD+;
• When girls are picking up Vogue and Cosmopolitan drooling over the latest trend in eye makeup and trying to figure out how to accomplish the the same effect, you’re drooling over the most amazing 2 page advertising spread you’ve ever seen – trying to figure out how to accomplish the the same Photoshop effect…
• You actually understand this post and pass it on to your fellow geeks friends.

Step 1: Enter phrase…
I decided to go with the tried and true “Nine Three Studio. Designer by trade, artist by passion.” Hey, it seemed fitting. Don’t judge.

Step 2: Choose your desired language to be BlahblahFished.

Step 3: Results! And much mumbled laughter.

• Italian: Study nine three. Planner through commerce, artist from passion.
• Greek: Studio nine three. Designer from the trade, artist from the passion.
• Welsh: ‘ heartburn son-in-law ‘ heartburn Three Studio. Designer to market , artist to heat.
• Swedish: Nine Three Studio. Designer by trade , artist wide candle.
• Latin: Nine Three Stud. Intention very monastic rule , author very passion.
• Serbian: Nine Three Studio. Designer at bargain , artist at emotion.
• Norwegian: Nine Three The workrooms. Design by trade , is not circulating perforate at delight.
• Russian: In mother russia, Studio nine three you! Just kidding

Well…. clearly about 1/3 of the way through my post the internets gods decided they didn’t want me to spread the gospel. My work’s firewall has blocked BlahblahFish from me midway through my copy and paste spree. sigh. To be continued from a remote local, aka my home office.

UPDATE: Well i was able to get a couple more funny ones up there. Enjoy. Surf the link. Create your own funny!

You’ve won this time internets… this time…

Please don’t flame me or send me hate mail. This is NOT a racist message, it’s an observational render.

If you’re a supporter of the arts, like Obama, hate Obama, are half African-American or just feel like scoring some sweet swag… then check out My HALFricanUSA Cafe Press store. All the proceeds will go to keeping my refrigerator fully stocked with Mauntain Dew and Dr. Pepper. Thanks!

Artist: Brandon Jaime (e-mail)
Title: Graphic Designer
Company: Churm Media (link)
Artist Comments/Picture Title: “All you little Hulksters out there, give me an oooooohhh yeah!” -Justin “The Hulk” Moore-Brown

To see more Bingo Bango! Visit The Vault.

Artist: Brandon Jaime (e-mail)
Title: Graphic Designer
Company: Churm Media (link)
Artist Comments/Picture Title: Someone should tell Justin that you don’t need to bring money to a swinger’s Key Party!

To see more Bingo Bango! Visit The Vault.

Artist: Brandon Jaime (e-mail)
Title: Graphic Designer
Company: Churm Media (link)
Artist Comments/Picture Title: ……that’s not icing.

To see more Bingo Bango! Visit The Vault.

Artist: Brandon Jaime (e-mail)
Title: Graphic Designer
Company: Churm Media (link)
Artist Comments/Picture Title: Denim Dan and the rocking quartets.

To see more Bingo Bango! Visit The Vault.